December 10th, 2021

Consideration….

That word. That word gets misplaced and overused in almost everyone’s everyday life. Especially, when used to manipulate someone. How can you possibly have consideration of someone’s feelings while trying to use the word against how their feeing just to justify your reasoning, of the other person trying to express how they feel…..saying they are manipulating.

Manipulation…

That’s a hard over thought about word as well. People mistake telling there feelings (especially sad and depressed) as a way of manipulating, and/or trying to cause guilt in the person they are telling these feelings to.

Care…..

If you love someone and planned your whole life with them….how do you suppose care would be used? Giving the other person ultimatums? Telling them they have to many breakdown? Telling them they make up shit? Use their mistakes against them? Lie to them? And expect them to be nice, be considerate, and show that they care…..? I don’t think that’s how that goes truly.

Marriage…..

Marriage is 2 becoming one. And they as a unit support, offer understanding, build each other, fix the problems, forgive mistakes, love unconditionally, and climb the ladder of life the best way possible together. Nowadays, it’s not like that. It’s a never ending cycle of lies, hurt, in forgiveness, consequences, arguing, misunderstanding, and one trying to sprint up the ladder claiming the other is holding them back. If you chose to be a unit why do that to each other? Why leave them behind? If roles were switch and you were the one misunderstood and left behind…..how would you feel? How would you react? When those questions are asked in relationships, the commonly used answer is “You can’t compare me to the shoes you chose to step in” meaning I would never be as low as you are. In a way, that labeling yourself as better than them. At that moment you just kicked the other person off the ladder. Now, let’s talk about the ladder representation. The ladder represents trust, success, happiness, financial stability, support, goals, dreams, mistakes, burdens, pasts, present, future, time, family, etc……you can’t get to the top by rushing and expect everything else to fall in line, or you’ll end up falling and the one you chose to leave behind will have already out together what they needed in order to get atleast half way up the ladder by now. Then what? You expect that person to reverse? Or do you expect them to keep going? Considering you are supposed to be a unit traveling together? ……..what if that person chose you before their own success of the ladder, so they come back to offer a hand…..after you left them in the dust…..that takes a strong human….a big hearted person…..one whom cares about the unit more then their own success first……..they paused their stuff to offer love, support and understanding even after you chose to run up the ladder…..that’s something. They also chose not forgive and live forward. When times get hard again..are you going to push them back down? Or are you going to work with them to keep going up? Of course, some of you would have a hard time deciding….and those that have a hard time deciding that truly only care about finances and material things. If you are only focused on the goals YOU have as a single person, that would be considered selfishness. Selfishness is a fucking coward. It seems the be a wall created by fear. The fear of being hurt, being forgotten, being lost, being left behind, and misused, and being controlled. Fear sprouts from the seeds of trauma, mistakes, and past negative experiences. And you chose how you grow that seed. You also choose your reactions and and words to connect the two. Do you choose to fear with the intention of being cautious and trying to trust things will get better if you would just allow it to start going? Or do you choose to strengthen the fear thinking the past is I defy going to occur and use the fear as a weapon to tear your significant other down? A lot of relationships consist of the last option because most people asked the future on what they’ve see not what they believe it could be just based on the fact of the shit happening. And each day that wall of fear get stronger and taller turning that particular person into a numb, arrogant, narcissistic, uncaring, unlovable person. How can you take care of someone who uses your past against you every single day? How can you look past the way they hold you against the blade of your own regrets and just watch you slowly slice the wounds, reopening them, just to bleed all over again? I’ll tell you my personal answer, I just let it happen. I let the shit year me down so low to where I’d rather stab the knife of regrets straight through my heart because I truly can’t love anyone else but the person watching my pain as entertainment. That…..that’s unconditional love. Unconditional love is when you love someone so hard and so much that you look completely passed all their wrongs and try to believe it will get better one day. Try to move forward caring the other person on your back while your able to still stand up from them watching you attempt to end everything. It’s not giving up when things get hard…..

1. As long as you understand and accept the situations and or people around you, only then will you find peace within yourself
2. Time is always running, hold on to that time you do have while you can. Time doesn’t slow down for you to catch up.
3. Remember that ladder I referred to? It only goes up, but you sprint to quickly without support at your side, you soon will fall.
4. Priorities are a big decision to split into categories, choose wisely, if you choose strictly it could hurt in the end
5. Walls. Walls are meant to be broken down in order to receive what you need as a person, not to be strengthened against All who dare shall climb it.
6. Emotions are the key to opening your heart, soul, and mind in order for that special someone to occupy it. If emotions are chained away, you seem cold, numb, and not in a realistic state of mind. That causes distress and probable cause for negativity to be set up right in front of your face.
7. You don’t absolutely have to be positive in order to get to that idealistic place you have set at the end of the ladder, you need motivation and stamina.
8. Unconditional love is caring for the person who killed you with your own knife after your own wrongs were justified against and you continue to push through when they may fail.
9. Hope. Hope is a strong word. In order for that word to live up to it definition and strength, it takes on the imagination of would could tomorrow bring after the sun rises. In other words, as long as there’s hope in something continuing no matter the circumstances, there will be a never ending story.
10. Acceptance and Rejection. Two opposites who ordinarily stand side by side is problematic situations. You can only choose one. One is accepting it for what is was, storing the information learned on all ends of the spectrum, learning how you can change it, learn what was the spark that ignited the fire of the problem, learn that it’s better to accept it aloud to the other person within the problem that you realize what the mistake had caused, forgiving yourself, and choosing to move forward and continue to change the way things were. Rejecting someone due to these same occurrences is what a lot of people do. It’s because they are scared of the possibilities of reliving that same situation, so their way of keeping that from happening is shutting the operation down and using that judgement against said other person in one form or another. And this causes confusion not only to the person rejecting but to the person receiving judgement. How can you push for things to get better while keeping the needle stuck in your arm? In other words, how are you going to give ultimatums to receiving care, support, happiness, and love from someone if you constantly battling against them with their own bad decisions that were made in the past?
11. Lastly, forgiveness and apologizing are often forgotten about when situations occur. Mostly due to some people’s egos or pride. They don’t want to admit they were in the wrong instead they just keep on trucking like they didn’t hit a speed bump causing them to lose a whole ass tire on the middle of the highway. This causes so many issues in society nowadays. Stop scraping you rotors on the concrete, pull over, slow down, jack it up, put a new and/or spare tire on, apologize for breaking the thing that helps you spin, forgive yourself for allowing it to happen in the first place, and buckle up….that’s when things start to unfold for the better.

Love you all!!